-

100th post

2008-04-15T09:05:00.000-07:00

ok.

i fell down.

lets stand up again.

this time, you'll help me.

cannot stay too long at the bottom ah.

soo many things to catch up.

actually i sobering from all the shit happened last week.

or the last few days.

been fuck'up to the max.

never been broke so bad.

yada yada yada.

tmr will be a better day.

or the day after that.

or one of the days ah.

if my guts feeling is correct,
you susa.
and kinda cute too^^

I'll beat to the rhythm, swing with your groove.

FUCK UP SONG

2008-04-14T09:41:00.000-07:00

How does it feel,

when you fall and hurt your knee?

and when you try standing up,

you fall and hurt again.

How does it feel,

when everything you cared crumble.

One by one,

it falls.

I know how it feels like.

Do you?

Nah.

You wont know.

Cos you never fall as low as i did.

This time,

its so heavy that i want to chop off my legs so i cant stand up again.

So,

do you know how I feel?

2008-04-10T23:21:00.001-07:00

because i forgive and lock it inside,
the truth,
will be the chain
to hold my sorrows and pain.

fuck sia

2008-04-03T02:11:00.000-07:00

ya. i not sad ah.

plainly simply put,

its fucked up.

and i not angry.

abit disorientated.

for now,

ill hold on to what every i can hold.

till i really decide or feel the way i suppose to do.

i think its sad and angry and fucked up and everything mashed up together.

good and bad in many ways.

see how la.

lets hope im still alive to see.

i dont want to wake up and knowing it was not a dream.

history repeating itself

2008-04-02T08:26:00.000-07:00

and i tot everything suppose to be ok again.

i guess i was wrong. again.

ill blame it on the emotional pressure.

cos its a pain in the ass.

or the head.

or just,

the heart.

2 months!

2008-03-28T23:26:00.000-07:00

life right now abit stale ah.

no up. usually down.

maybe cos i uber lazy thats why..

must buck up ah..

see la.

say only but ltr still the same.

Zz.

on a lighter note.

we're 2 months!

i happy ah.

but girlfriend in camp ah so, very the Zz.

on a even lighter note,

end of the month le.

so its pay day! woots!

lets hope this time i wont spend it soo much..

hmmm.

maybe i will.

yea.

so ya.

I WILL NOT BE LAZY AND MOVE MY ASS FOR BARACUDA PRAC NOW!

today feels nice.

yet empty ah.

like every other day. :/

like a body without a soul;
it moves without understanding,
the rhythm of the heart.

as the beats keeps running,
and the notes being strung,
i am yet alone.
pulled in by the emptiness.
the heart yields,

for whom it desires.

i donno feeling

2008-03-25T08:43:00.000-07:00

I love my girlfriend. Period.

THE NECKLACE

2008-03-23T05:38:00.000-07:00

my solemn wish.

made a total goner.

make it alright once more,

and let the cycle come again.

NEW GAME!

2008-03-21T14:43:00.000-07:00

im addicted to this new game that is freaking awesome.

on nds.

playing on emulator ah, not the real one..

Zz.

got abit gliche still.

but minor ones.

so its cool. (:

tmr one whole day of this game again!

since got nothing to do ah..

Zzz.

and im feeling ok-ok for next week.

lets hope things turned out well! (:

haris ah..

so optimistic as always..

lol.

but yea.

its a good thing you know?

in a way, i guess.

love

2008-03-20T11:11:00.003-07:00

by any chance you stumbled over the word

love;

then you've realize that the humans' will is,

limitless.

the burning passion,

for whom desires,

will burn you.

and give you wings to fly.

Zz

2008-03-19T14:19:00.000-07:00

I stayed over at skool.

damn not happening when theres no friend, no food and no air con.

ZZz.

tmr lots of things to do..

Zzz..

kns so many things to do..

i fucking whiner sia.

lol.

anyways.

i find some bloggers damn dumb.

want to scold fuck scold ah.

so what if u spell fuck, fcuk?

got different ah?

bodo punye biskot.

haha.

yea. that felt good.

heh.

anyways.

go far east eat something nice there \o/

new job \0/

meeting baby! \0/

i got good life! heh.

weighting the bad ones with those,

im good. (:

well,

i cannot emo emo all the time ah.

baby say i big boy.

wooots.

heh

puki kau la

2008-03-11T10:24:00.000-07:00

i meet my girlfriend lerh...

DAMN HAPPY CAN?!

heh.

anyways.

i forgotten what happened on monday other then meeting my baby so ya.

lets go to today.haha.

hmmm. got work.

today i come in early ah. not bad ah. thx ah. (:

work like boring like that ah when nobody ard.

hah..

meet yoko after that cos she got cravings for duck rice. (duck.yuck. i think its damn gross ah. dont care halal or not.the poor duck is like hanging at the glass there with the head still attach and like got the smell like that.ee.)

eat alr. then go walk walk around far east.

meet faiz there. haha.

and that yoko ah. dumb sia.
go shopping nvr bring cash.lol.
not say she got no money ah.
there got right cash payments only.
open your eye big BIG ah.
hahaha.
-.-V

then go whellock.
she want to go see toys for her live journal, i think.
meet cheryl and danny. haha.
damn joke.
she was like.

HI HARIS!

i think she cant see me or something like that. haha.

walk walk some more. and i saw this nice black pant which cos like 99 bucks.

nice eh. but ah. $$. Zzz.

saving money to buy something else ah. haha.

and i went to borders to see jaslyn,

and seriously ah.

the can click and shoot me at the same time sia.

everybody like that lo. esp female ones.

jaslyn, yoko, ziying.

and my GIRLFRIEND oso ah.

haha.

me love you long time ah. heh.

and before i finish this ah.

i want to complain.

my fucking friend ah.

really super wtf ah.

he use my laptop like macam donno how to take care sia.

its like dirty-er then last time.
he like donno how to reformat, i now reformatting.
the jack to plug in the adapter like loose alr.knn.
he pull out the nicely coiled and secured wire which suppose to make things easier while carrying
and the stupid speaker cover got one bloddy hole ah.
!@#$%^&*()_+_)(*%$#@!

and i went to him to collect the laptop ah when he got a fucking bike.

AND HE MADE ME WAIT FOR HIM LIKE 1 HR AH!?

i alone sia. if got friend or wat can ah.

Zzz.

ok im going to slp.

tmr morning see girlfriend. then start cracking the parts.

till then.

woots!

i miss u so.

2008-03-09T13:09:00.000-07:00

Sorry for not updating much.heh.

lazy la. haha.

hmmm. lets see.

i miss my baby.

this few days, only menial stuff happened so can i cant remember much.

girlfriend busy with dragon boat.

im busy with keeping myself busy.

sometimes, feeling alone really suck. hah.

but its ok.

there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

or need to cross one more tunnel?Zz. haha.

and reading manga really pluck me out of reality and not feeling the pinch.

its when reality hits you back, it will come like a running cho cho train.

and smash.

there it goes.

so.

just fly.

omg. reading that stupid manga really makes me talk like that ah. Zzz.

haha.

lets hope i can see my girlfriend soon,

cos i can just stab myself just to see her.

eh.

not your fault lu baby.

dont worry.

ill use a blunt knife ok?(:

so till then,

take care folks.

and see you soon. <3

o0p

2008-03-05T09:44:00.000-08:00

i susa.

knnccbftw.

i suck.

the simplicity of life
has reared it ugly horn.
not sharp as it seems,
but the cut remained deep.

1st month!

2008-02-28T07:18:00.000-08:00

today was fun.

got to see girlfriend and im very happy to see the jumpy her again.

cos of her training, she hadn't been very jumpy and look moody like that.

i think she like exert too much ah and her body like kena surprise attack.

but yea.ill still stay around so you know that i'll still care (:

alot.

and lately,

been doing alot of thinking ah.

not soo much ah.

nth much really.

ill hope my thinking will be in motion soon.

(dont think soo much ah.my girlfriend and me steady one.heh.)

and ya.

the stupid fucking joke.(ghost)

kns.

you go talk cock sing song@thompson ah.

some screwed up child you became.

you say both of us are cowards but you are hiding behind the identity of ghost.

so u're a bigger coward.

you say want to send picture. but ya. until now, shit oso dont have.

so that makes you a fool.

so to some it all up.

your just a stupid,attention seeking,screwed up,no brain, cowardly fool.

and im not surprise everyone who ask me about you agrees with me.

so i guess you'll can just keep on talking cock so fuck your mum at the same time.

cheers.

ghost dick head

2008-02-24T05:22:00.000-08:00

i must say,

ghost, you are really something.

cos im writting one whole post just for you.

ok lets just cut the crap.

you got pictures?

show 'em then.

you already showing yourself cowardly, you sissy pussy ass.

and you call my girlfriend names.

thats make you a even bigger sissy pussy ass.

at the end of the day,

you just keep on ranting. and ranting.

unless you got proof(which i highly doubt you have),

go home.fuck your mum.

dumb fuck ghost.

2008-02-23T08:03:00.000-08:00

yo!

yesterday was my last paper and woo hoo..

even tho the paper suck to the core ah.

i hope i pass :x

heh.

today so fun lo go out the whole day..

like from 8am-11pm.

haha!

let me see..

events happened today!

accompany girlfriend to kalang. <3

meet yoko, ziying and shaun to go to chua place.

and btw, wii is totally awesome to the max.

exercise+entertainment. (maybe i should buy it ah baby??heh)

went to ps. jalan jalan...(suppose to watch movie.then left the odd hour shows.Zz)

lepak/slp at ben and jerry's

baby came with her friends! ((: (eh girlfriend,thx yea.love love)

then send baby back. =D

ok da finish.

tmr..

hmmm.

see how ah. haha. i want/need to slp ah.

Zzz.

and ya.

to ghost:

hello bitch. i dont believe you.try harder.
its like some stranger coming up to you(you as in you ghost) and say 'eh .i fuck your mum yesterday.damn awesome'
i mean if thats really happen to you then i rest my case ah. but ya.
dont say i mean ah.
you start the ball rolling.
and btw,
i know ah she say bad things about me.
you jealous ah she nvr talk about you ?
and trust me.
i know her better then you know your own mum.
so fuck yourself or your mum or your dog.

like i said. you started it.

if you are really my girlfriend's friend,
you totally suck.
do some reflection ah.

oh wait. you're stupid enough to post that so,
just stick to fuckin.

i bet you didn't know that ya?

dont cry baby.

2008-02-21T14:24:00.000-08:00

Before i continue studying,

my girlfriend rocks to the core.

she woke me up at 5 so i will study.

she call me again at 6.30am to check on me..

she just called me.

(:

i donno how to tell you all ah.

hmmm.

it was 'super in love' then,

now its like totally-super-duper-woooo hooo in love so ya.

quite difficult to study with a clear image of your girlfriend, smiling at you, in your head

and with very little source to study(results of not going to class and now i have to dig for my own answers. ZZzz)

so ya.

this is my situation now.

good night/morning and

i appreciate you, baby.

knnccbwtfpkmk

2008-02-20T06:26:00.000-08:00

woootss..

yesterday went out on a date with girlfriend..

first one eh?

and i think its nice and sweet. ^^

but not to my pocket ah...

ZZz.

but ya. with alittle bit planning ok le. my pocket that is.

we watch ah long pte ltd.

damn fucking dumb and lame and ok ok funny ah.

hokkien(dialect) damn happening.

CHA BO KIA!

heh.

and ya,

THX AGAIN, GIRLFRIEND FOR THE AWESOME DATE! <3

love you many many! (:

and today,

siraj came over to my place,

crack some parts for baracuda on the set.

talk about stuff.which is quite interesting(not sex la.kns)

after that, send him to busstop.

saw my stupid brother doing his friends hmwk.

like wtf?

and its art not dnt.

the dude jus sit next to brother with his leg on brother chair.

and that stupid brother say he was helping him cos he donno.

wtf?

got difference between helping and doing.

i talked to the dude ah.

since i need to control my temper,

i say to him nicely.

not nicely ah. just reasoning.

but he say sorry in the end so he not so bad ah.

but then again.ya watever.

and the best part.

was when my dad came back.

dad scold him. he cry.

sister and mum were like consoling him ah.

he say.(while crying)

"why i cannot help?why i cannot talk to him alr?"

like realy, wtf?

ppl bully him alr. and he doesn't realise it.

so he WANTS to get bullied?

fuck sia.

i looking forward for his 1st term results.

if it suck, he can lick his own balls clean alr.

cos confirm dad going to open a can of whope ass on him.

and judging from there, he going to fail again.(or barely pass)

Zzz.

and while im at it,

my mum is a @#$%^.

i shan't blog about it cos i will BOOM to the MAX.

im glad there is still ppl who still cares for me, like baby.

and things that make me not worry about it, like baracuda.

and for that i'll maintain my composure and continue to work for 'em.

and i need to study for my exam on friday cos im going out with gilrfriend and her mates.

so ya. study.

looking at things,
im working very hard
so i can stop this madness
so my own family will be better then this.

vday (:

2008-02-17T01:06:00.000-08:00

Hi blog.

Been busy with exams ah..

Zzz.

anyways.

this week was awesome. ok la.. but awsome. ((:

my sexy girlfriend made me cute/sweet/small/chocolatey/delicious cupcakes which are damn nice with the icing.

me hearts you worxx (:

I got them on wed since she need to study on vday. so its cool (:

i gave this to my girlfriend.

its not like what i had imagined but it looks awesome.

and im super-duper happy i made it for you! (:

and and im even super-duper-woopper-upsized-with-onion-rings happy since baby like it.

heh.

but ya, you beat me this time ah.. haha.

bliss?i think so too. ^^

today had breakfast as a family(after a very long time)

meet baby at clubhouse.

and some one had to disturb us slpin by poom poom-ing.

but ya, he's a nice guy. heh.

looking at things happening.

im super happy. really. never been so elated.

and yet.

so down.

and baby is there all the while, comforting me.

thx baby, you're the best.

maybe i should take and use my own advice

'one step at a time,everyday'

and ill just do that.

for you. for us.

and actually, drowning myself in sorrow kinda helped cos it gave me a solution.

so im happy again.

really.

and ill try and be your best too k? (:

seeing you so sad really drowns me even further.
but you opened up to me.
and im happy cos you care.
and it drives me further.
ill be your best.
and beat all of em to pulps (:

study!

2008-02-11T08:27:00.000-08:00

I JUST realise exams are coming very very soon.

and my engineering maths is a killer. confirm.

Zzz.

Today studying with the girlfriend and Zs and crys.

Hope they will help her bah...

I WILL MOTIVATE YOU DONT WORRY (;

as for me..

er...

eat only ah..

hhaha.

this few days damn weird eh.

i keep waking up earlier then the time i set on my alarm clock.

today suppose to wake up at 0830.

i woke up at 7.

yesterday oso.

Zzz.

kinda weird.

really weird.

im still a lil sleepy but hey,

auto alarm clock seems cool.

but i'll still set my alarm clock. heh.

and its 820 now.

time to wake my snoring girlfriend from slp soon.

she slp damn cute please.

minus the drools ah(if any)

HAHA!

peace ah baby.heh. joke only.

but yea.

been wondering about alot of stuff.

my tolerance level is very very low recently. i mean for quite some time ah.

abit only i will BOOM.

zZZ.

im trying to work on it. really.

hmmm.

maybe there is something to it yea..

but ya. watever.

today gonna rock cos im seeing you. (:

so I-O-LETS-GO!

:D

<3

2008-02-07T19:47:00.000-08:00

yesterday kinda sucks cos being home alone with no one to talk to really is shitty.

but ya, girlfriend cheered me up so its cool ^^

love you many many (:

and today, im going to collect money and make money (:

and hopefully, the girlfriend can go to daniel's house with me cos i want to show off. :P

(kinda saddening when you're the last few ones left in the clique is single. i hope ed is doing alright :D)

but yea. i miss my girlfriend.

the dishes at home are still waiting for me.

i need to clean the house atleast.

my stomach is growling like a monster.

and

i donno what to wear to go out..

Zzz.

susa.

hmmm.

i THINK i know what to wear.

shorts la.

she oso wearing one so its cool.

did i say i miss my girlfriend??

uh.

ya.

and i cant wait to see you B!

(:

background music: ohh happpyy day..

:D

note to self

2008-02-06T11:14:00.000-08:00

hey-yo

CNY NOT HAPPENING.

cos my family went to johor and left me here in sg.

Zzz

hopefully friday got alot of $$ (:

and hopefully my dad not taking the bike so i can vroom vroom!

also hope that i wont suck tmr too.

Zzz.

3 am and im still awake...wtf..

ok i think is shud slp soon cos headache is kicking in alr.

hmmm.
dont think, just do.
?

fucking bitch

2008-02-05T09:03:00.000-08:00

shit sia.

not happening.

shit ah.

but feels kinda weird ah.

and usually, the weird feeling thingy is right and is not so good ah.

share with me.pls?

and ill tell you my side.

i promise.

so will you?

my girlfriend rocks big time.

its just her boyfriend sucks who spoils the whole thing.

baby, tell me.
and i will try and do whats right.

monday.

2008-02-04T01:36:00.000-08:00

Today quite happening ah.

I spent almost the whole day with the girlfriend.

suppose to study, end up we play more then study..

Zzz.

But it was nice.

my girlfriend is the best yo. (eh b.dont over ah.abit only. (: )

and,

SHE FREAKING CRAZY CAN?!

she changed my display pic to this,

And she kept on laughing at it and waving at it.

Freaking funny.

and freaky.

I almost got spooked out when she keeps on laughing to herself.

and ya, thats my girlfriend for you. HAHA!

She need to go off pick up some flowers for her mum and has to be home for dinner.

so Zzz.

so here i am blogging and

i need to pass my PCIT test tmr or i can just fuck spider.

oh wells.

Zzz.

thats all for now, i think.

woosh...

yay!

2008-02-02T08:51:00.000-08:00

Tmr(which is technically today),

i seeing my girlfriend

\o/

not doing closing

\o/

lepak before monday comes

\o/

so ya, thats what gonna happen tmr.

and ya, just like what my girlfriend wrote,

FUCK OFF!

simple enough eh?

wo de bao bei (:

2008-02-02T02:30:00.000-08:00

I swear to god, my girlfriend is super happening.

To me ah. To you for what?!@$ (:

Today was good, bad actually, but turned good in a way.

Had to go school at 830am(wtf?@!#@) for some radio thingy with michelle.

then waited at clubhouse.

shawn is a bloody bitch, but a lucky one so its ok. (:

then girlfriend came. her mood was ok ok ah.(but i feel kinda bad cos i made u come early)

but ya.my awfully sweet girlfriend came and accompany me.

didn't go work today cos want to spent time with her.

which turned out good.

well, say what u want to say, but i feel kinda weird.

my girlfriend beat me at being nice.

its like 213432 to 1 ah(maybe abit more la.)

and now, i want to be with her.for good.

she knows how to really make me feel up when im down.

and entertain my nonsense. alot.

really listens..(you really live up to ur name ah b.heh)

i just feel so happy and great when she is around ah.

even when i emo, my face abit screwed ah cos nvr smile and all.

but i feel happy you allow me to stay for awhile.

I enjoy being with her.

you all will say 'eh dude.now honeymoon.you wait abit more.'

lick my ass bitches.

cos with honeymoon or without, i know my girlfriend cares for me alot.

and for that im really grateful to you, my dear.

dont worry about the future k?

i'll make sure i'll make alot of money so we both happy.

it will be tough ah.

but i know we can do this, together.

so girlfriend,

ready to run? (:

me <3 wo de bao bei

(:

280108

2008-01-31T09:05:00.000-08:00

hi blog,

nothing happen just now in band leh...

i tot something big happening.

but whatever it is, work together yea?

girlfriend is, as ever hot and amazing, nice today too.

donno la just feels nice when she smiles.(no im not weird.im in <3)

wish i could help her for her test tmr ah..

i feel so helpless ah just now, thats y i go walk walk.

Zzz.

but ya, ill support u no matter what! or how ah. (:

heh.

anyways,

ate alot at al-azhar.

shit alot too.

mum being a bitch as normal.

and dad being awfully nice picked me up at macritchie.

I should really plan to finish my bike lessons soon cos its freaking irritating not to pass with the bike waiting at the carpark everyday.

Zz.

tmr radio.lets hope i wont screw things up for michelle cos she super enthu about it.

super enthu ah.

yeap.

and also,

just maybe,

i should start studying very very soon.

tmr ah. haha.

and tmr got work..

Zzz.

i'll remember to bring my stuff this time to fix the lights.some duck tape and test pen ok le.

so thats all folks.

lastly,

i think john can be a pope ah cos the way he say ah,

something chaotic can seem so nice with 'the poisons in the air'.

baby,
i kinda screw up again.
im sorry.

my girlfriend rox!

2008-01-30T07:45:00.000-08:00

my girlfriend super happening.

super sweet ah.

today she woke me up cos i having practical test.

the test kinda not happening so ya, i'll skip that.heh

Then she came to skool to do some stuff and then i accompany her to macritchie(spelling?)

I wished i could stay on ah but got one more practical test waiting for me at skool. Zz

but this time, i know i will pass one!not pass but can score ah.i hope! (:

then thx to unwanted ppl kinda spoiled my day,

i think, i should just make them rant hor?

then we all sit down watch show.

what u think ah girlfriend? (:

i mean i can play with 'em.

but ya. they dont like.their problem lor..

and to whom it may concern,

you're a bitch.

i already did my part and apologize.you say its cool.can be friends.

but wtf?

so i guess u guys miss that part ya?

and helmy, i think ure a man.no joke.

i already cut contact with her, like what u said.

but look at whats happening.

so,

still want to rant some more?

anyways, back to my story,

did i tell u my girlfriend is sweet? (:

heh.

she went chomp chomp to buy me dinner and go skool to deliver the food FRESH!

dam sweet can?

i need to keep up ah at being nice cos she kinda beat me at it this time.

but fear not! I WILL BEAT U AT IT! =D

i tell u ah.got girlfriend like that happening sia.

yoko inviting us to go for cny gathering.sounds like fun!

but u all ah.be nice to my girlfriend ah. (:

let hope tmr will be a great day like today! ((:

unwanted readers

2008-01-29T22:55:00.000-08:00

To my unwanted readers,

please move on.

she has move on, atleast thats what she said,

so you guys can do her a favor but doing so too.

i dont want to bitch about what ever that has happened but this kinda sucks.

and btw,

a good friend of mine kinda rocks.

this is my blog. so its kinda for me to say out and for u to just read em.

not happy ur problem ah. HA!

and by-btw,

the term anak abu is kinda inappropriate in this case.

or should i say, soooo last century.

so ya,

good day and PISS OFF!

PS; sorry to my other readers but thx to this kids, i am going close my tagboard,. for the time being.so chill yea?

new/old girlfriend.

2008-01-29T06:47:00.000-08:00

Hi blog.

the girlfriend asked me to open u up again so there u go.

but just like last time, i will keep talking about her ah.heh.

what else to talk sia other then baracuda, band, school and her.

but ya since she contributes more in this so its kinda fair to write em down.

susa la.

but its technically nice, i think.

i mean,

she being protective..

very... un-expected.

maybe there is still things i donno about her and i hope i'll know it soon!

but ya. feels great ah.

so

FOR EVERYONES' SAFETY, PLEASE DO NOT MAKE MY GIRLFRIEND MAD!

cos she'll beat ur boyfriend or girlfriend up. (:

joke only ah. you know i <3 u..

2008-01-27T00:03:00.001-08:00

hello!
(:
sam was here.
haha.
haris has new love.
:DDDDDDDDDDD
the malay thang.
and he doesnt wan to tell me who.

u suck.

2008-01-21T07:58:00.000-08:00

theres' 2 kinds of ppl in this world.

the ppl using and the ppl being used.

at this moment, i'll say enough is enough and no more being complicated.

i opened up, gave chance, brought myself down.

but no.

you just don't see it. or just take it for granted.

no more.

cry all you want, i wont stay ard.

i tried to be nice, again and again.

rice become porridge alr.

so this is my last goodbye.

new love <3

2008-01-20T05:45:00.000-08:00

Hey.

new love. <3

(:

and new look for this space cos the old one kinda rusty.

i'm still contemplating to but a tagboard.

Nvm. Ltr we decide (:

but for now, let me enjoy your company and warmth.

((:

aisyah

2008-01-19T08:37:00.000-08:00

Hey.

I think.

Think.

I know who is it.

heh

you susa la.

seriously la.

why make things so difficult seh..?

hai..

its not out of simpathy.

but i still do yea?

so dont sad and cheer up

cos ill be your colours to your every drawings.

so stay around yea? <3

my little girl

2008-01-16T18:46:00.000-08:00

our small little conversations is pretty interesting i must say.

the way i see it, im a dumb f*ck for not noticing.

she is so sweet ah.

talking to her make my head swell ah most of the time,

but damn.

i dont care sia if she dont have the looks but she got a wonderful heart.

i really pray for her health. really.

to you, my dear, may allah bless you with the strength and courage move on.

and god, on the way ah, save me too cos im abit stuck here.heh. thx alot! (:

haizz.

i wished i knew.

secret admirer

2008-01-15T09:46:00.001-08:00

hey.

today, i swear, is a crazy day.

firstly i didnt go to lessons for the whole day.(not the first time.but ya.who cares?)

then bras basah.

then rehersal at sentosa. damn cock-up ah. lets hope tmr will be a better one.

and finally.

i got this msg from someone i know and knows me but dont wish to say who.

i started thinking of it as a joke ah.

but cannot be ah.the story quite solid.

then i start thinking of who.

at this point it can be any one sia.

and i really looking forward to know. and know more.

not i itch backside ah.

i feel i should.and i want to.

well gods, or god(for me), do help me out.

and help the ones i know that needs you.

i know im a bastard for not praying to you constantly.

but i always try my best to remember how everything worked out cos of you.

thx in advance and you rock! (:

how i wish prayers was this cool yet enriching, heh.

take care folks.

really.

secret admireer

2008-01-15T09:46:00.000-08:00

CONTROL YOUR FUCKING MOUTH

2008-01-14T08:08:00.000-08:00

And yet again.

i have done it, again.

fucking dumb sia.

must control my stupid mouth.

less is more.

hai..

i feel like shit sia.

damn low ah.

so much confident for what?

see. still so confident.

i must do things differently so i can change.

ill try and do things differently tmr and see how it will change.

sigh.

go up but went down.

CONFIDENT

2008-01-13T07:09:00.000-08:00

joke sia.

everywhere oso the same.

want to play nice, dont want...

ltr shout abit, say fierce.

Zz.

my brother is one gd example.

he was sooo fucking close from getting his ass whooped by my dad.

seriously.

fucking dumb sia. want to lie oso cannot. go skool oso cannot.

i dont want to support him sia in the future if he cannot support himself.

and my mum scold me cos he following my bad example.

wtf?

ppl never repeat in sec skool, why your other son cannot follow?

seriously sia.

my dad should have woke him up ah.

one time is enough to last a life time.

mine still does.

pfft.

f.a.n.

2008-01-11T21:00:00.000-08:00

fuck sia. today fucking sway ah.

to the max!

ltr work oso boring ah cos you not there.. ZZzz.

i was at myspace looking at profiles.

and looking back,

i fucking dumb to the power of ∞ sia.

and its always because of what i said.

serious ah.

must work on it.

and yesterdays talk really did help.

now is just do.(fucking broken english ah)

prac ok alr. now go there again.. sooon.

and i suppose to do my em3a now ah.

but i left my friend book in the clubhouse.

hope its still there.

lets try and finish the day with happy stuffs and getting high.

cos staring from tmr will be hell.

hold on guys and keep rockin!

fucking tight!

2008-01-10T22:46:00.000-08:00

this weekend will be fucking tight sia.

luckily the presentation over and my team freaking awesome ah.

all suddenly chiong.

today plan, today event, today do work, today present.

kudos guys! (:

ltr work!

tmr vroom vroom!

sunday perform!

go gO GO!!

take care reader!

anger

2008-01-06T04:51:00.001-08:00

hey.

tmr riding. YAY! but in the morning..Zz

anyways. i've been thinking about it the whole day.

you suck. big time. cos u treat it like a fucking joke.

and thats freaking low. so much for everything u've said ah.

talk shit, no fart.

that goes the same to the rest of your 'gang'.

and dont be such a busybody ah.

dont fucking ask me about my life when u talk behind my back.

you are just fucking low. u make me fucking sick.

fuck off and die,screwed-up ass whipe.

will you love me in the morning?

2008-01-02T06:53:00.000-08:00

hi.

skool was a killer cos i freaking slepy thro out the whole day...

i hope my SOLUTIONS worked ah.

heh.

but then again.new ones popped out. Zz

haii..

I-O LETS-GO!

dub sia.

i now typing my post but i kinda not sync with my tittle.

seriously.

doesnt go ah.

but ya. kinda feelin it. movin it. groovin it.

i cannot emo emo ah.

but ah. alot of things kinda worked when i emo ah.

ok la. emo.

but ill fix you.

will you?

book cover

2007-12-31T20:42:00.000-08:00

ola.

new year quite happening ah..

performance was great with the energy.

and the best part was at the jamming studio.

we talked about "dont judge the book by its cover"

"eh you sure or not?you got cover but no content ah."
points at another girl.
"you worst.got content no cover"

she damn sad after that sia..lol.

but it was fun ah. (:

i suppose to work now but i bluff my manager cos i freaking tired

and i want to buy my new phone today :D

but i scared ltr like my laptop ah..

haha.

itcy backside ah haris.

but for future use ah..(wink*wink)

anyways. i fucking disappointed with someone sia.(not you la, you)

seriously ah.

wasted sia.

see how on march ah when i see you again.

Greed is never satisfied.
It will it you up,
Soon atleast.

Never under estimate what the heart can do.

relief

2007-12-29T09:42:00.000-08:00

Hey!

Today, tiring day ah..

half the time i feel like dozing off.

but it was a good day.

just no energy to really go HIGH.

but ya. im happy. hope u are too.

The next time i update this will be most probably next 2 weeks cos will be busy with baracuda.

all the best for 'em yea?

I just feel like saying thx.

maybe to everyone, or just you.

Feels nice to hear your not so happening-cos-ure-sick voice.

hope things turn out well for everyone. the new year coming.

maybe everything will be nicer then the last.

haha.yea. i really stonning here actually.

but yea, lets go!

(:
not so big smile ah.
but the warmth is felt.

Haiz..

2007-12-27T08:01:00.000-08:00

One step forward, three steps back.

Zz..

Fuck sia.

And i tot im the only one halucinating.

i am scolding myself actually for being an ass so bear with it.

Seriously.

fuck sia.

I know you read this and you know i read urs.
its not i dont care.
I FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU!

Its just me....
Let me compose myself again.
Confidently know that I can.

I already stopped btw.
Not because I care about my future.

I really find it so freaking hard to even say hi to you.
maybe I ego or its just me.
AHG! fucking irritating ah me.

i screwed up at work just now cos i tot u were passing by and i spill water to some customers.
dumb fuck sia haris.

sigh.

end of year

2007-12-26T08:14:00.000-08:00

Hello!

Today prac was good.. at the end of it..

got things done.

paper work left...Zz..

Anyways.. tmr will be Zzz.

Morning wake up play soccer at ghim moh.

Then 10 am meet john.

Then work at 12 all the way. Zz.

God save my ass.

And fyi, i not playing for the concert.

Fucking concert band.

Give me a chance to say this in ur face.

Dumb Fuck.

but power ah.

Like i say last time, one less thing to worry is more time to worry about other stuff.

Tmr need to wake up 7 i still facing the com.ZZzz.

haha. i need you sia.
somehow or somewhere.

work!

2007-12-25T08:10:00.000-08:00

hey!

Worked the whole day today..

Very... Zzzz..

I spent half the time lazing around cos freaking tired and slpy ah donno y.

Eh eeh. Today i UP seh.

from service crew to waiter. (:

Its like a hierarchy system.

trainee then service crew/kitchen crew then waiter/barista then senior waiter/barista then supervisor.

yea.. be happy for me la.. i telling only not show off ah..

anyways. I GOT A REASON TO STOP ALR!

cos when i see the face ah.. change sia..

but nvm..

for a good cause ah (:

so now i got something to look forward to.. ((:

till then.. chill out guys! \m/

CHRISTMAS!

2007-12-24T08:30:00.000-08:00

Hey!

Christmas eve was... self education??

Learn lots of stuff cos went to orchard to watch Wicked Aura.

Cool guys. Damn tight.

Then we went makan at bbq chicken(i think)

then jalan2. lepak. talk talk. ok la happening.

ha!

germine just called. wa u got remember ah..haha.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL.

anyways. serious stuff.

baracuda.. hmm discuss ltr during prac.

but this. cant wait.

Hmmm. How would I wanna put it.

you suck?

i donno. cos u said 'hold truly'

but that past tense kinda expired long time ago so does that count?

you break promise i cannot?

so im a bigger bitch?

look at it my way.

or any way.

im still at the losing end.

for what?

i smoke oso cos i feel damn f*ck'up with my tests, band, you.

i want to talk to you oso u seemed busy with other stuff.

so who can i relly turn to actually?

blogger is one of em!

i had alot of time in kl to reflect upon you and future.

nevermind ah.

the way i see, im like an emergency phone-line.

you need then you call. no need then dont care.

and i suppose to sit around waiting?

no. i wont. ill do my stuff.

but the phone line still open.

want help, ill help.

if dont want, then dont want ah.

simple.

hate me ah.

really.

see if i still care.

HOLIDAY!!

2007-12-23T12:31:00.000-08:00

Hello!

K.L. was HAPPENING.

The apartment was actually ok-ok then sucked thx to afew bunch of ppl.

Hmmmm. lets start!

Ah Moi: ABANG HANSEM!
Me:Ah. Saye?
Ah Moi: Ye awak. Saye nak...
Me:Nak ape?
Ah Moi: Nak awak.
Me:oh. ok.
Ah Moi: JOM!

The first day was a killer. Need to wake up at 6 AM. Zz. Cos we taking bus from JB(thx to my uncle) then to KL.

After reaching there, lepak abit. Swim swim with the kids. Then we go jalan jalan. Met Ah Moi. Funny girl. Lol.. Anyway, we went Bukit Bintang, Sungei Wang, KLCC, Time Sq and ofcorse, PETALING ST!

Bought afew stuff there. Got Sirajs' weird looking cap and Kooch glasses. The rest, sorry ah.. Never ask to buy... Budget tight ah.

The sellers there quite interesting. Esp the indian ones. Sorry ah. Abit racist ah.But they really give this very sad face.'abang, come see ah. nvr buy oso can.try first.' Cos i walking with my sister ah, she just brush them off. Oh wells. But they sure can bargain ah.hah

Food there was ok ok cos we ate same thing of breakfast(prata) .lunch and dinner varies. But ok la. Not bad. Ramily burger, chicken rice, beef stew..etc etc.

But the fun part was always with the kids. My cousins ah. All small small one. Esp the smallest one.(eh i not pheodo ah) Everytime want to take picture. But she really look good. Haha.

jokes and fun aside, when i was away, alot of thing reminded me of much much more things.
Old feelings, new friends, responsibilities and commitment.

Sometimes, i feel kinda dumb.reflecting the things ive done and said. but then again, for the real meaning of what I wanted to say...hmm. Justifiable ah.

But no worries. haris steady one.

.....

ok la not so steady.

but.

i now know what to do.

for now.

Merry christmas to all.

I gave things money cant buy.
For others, theres always MY ATM CARD!

Fierce

2007-12-13T06:55:00.000-08:00

Stranger: God kill me.

Me(imagining): oh. Ok. *bang*

Kinda dumb i think.

anyways. Today free labour sia. technically ah. Cos i ate there for free. hee. thx ma'am!

good life, here i come!

holiday is going to be busy. but hey! HAPPENING!

I happy boy ah. So like that lo.

till then.

Cheers!

screwed

2007-12-08T10:44:00.001-08:00

Hi blogger.

I got no one else to turn to.

Please help me.

I don't mind killing myself and feel the pain.

and i believe the pain is much bearable then what i am feeling right now.

She may have the same feeling too.

I don't see the light at this end to the tunnel.

But isnt here and now matters the most.

It was my fault that I did all that.

But hey, I already emotionally drained cos my fucking friend ran away with my money. That why you are soo low and u can fuck off and die, bastard child, son of a bitch.

I worked soo hard for the day. The day.

But what I really wanted for us was no games, no secrets. Purely conviction.

It really hits me soo hard when you you say you had a new friend. I always wanted to know ur friends so i wont get jealous, knowing that i will.

If I had a new one, if, I'll tell the whole world. I told the whole word about us.

I never cared what people say to me cos they are just there. but you. you are the only one i can share, joke and alot of time, bring me down to realise how small I am compare to the others.

You may or may not read this. I want what we had. Even if we are not what we used to. Do stay. Hate me, love me, forget me, your choice. But I loved you then and i love u now.

Yes I admit I've changed. But I was always here, reaching out to you.

You were the one who brought me up and crush me down.

Stay. With me. And I will never make you cry again. Ever.

and forever i'll be true.

i'll compose myself and promise me you'll maintain.

Sunday, 9 dec, 0312 hrs.

hello mat! bye bye pain

2007-10-27T03:21:00.000-07:00

This few days has been really interesting.

Performance just now was good generally, better then we did then the last.But I not tight ah.

Note to self:-

Not to run away cos it will snowball.

Sleep early!

Ego check.

Recently, I've realise that I haven't been thinking much about the things that I do. Thus, it may have a bad side effect after doing it. Ya. And its not about planning ah, its about saying it right. Also, I HAVE BEEN SLEEPING LATE EVERY NIGHT WITHOUT ANY REASONS! AND ITS KINDA SCREWED COS I NEED TO SLP COS I WORKING LATER!

Seriously, wtf man! And as I am typing this, I'm having major mingraine and the multitude of it is much much worst then I ever felt and it FREAKING IRRITATING!$#@! I REALY WANT TO SLP! help me :x

Ok. Tahan abit and finish up.

Ok. Ego. Really need to check on 'em regularly. I know its irritating to let it out and I really don't want it to. Ahg! Maybe this kinda relates to the thinking thingy that Ive said earlier. With Baracuda and studies both catching up fast, I need to go faster and start doing HMWK for BOTH! I really want to see myself excel in both. Difficult. But I don't want to let anybody down. So with that as my force,

GO HARIS GO!

Oh ya. IM LOSING WEIGHT! (:

Letter of redemption

2007-10-22T00:42:00.001-07:00

To the one I hold dearest,

As you have already known I have read your entry and seriously. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE! Dumb sia. You have your friends! You have me. I understand that you are going thru a difficult phrase now and I want to be there to hold on to you and give you hope. And it really doesn't matter if I'm your boyfriend or not. Its just a stupid status. All I want is I don't want to see you cry every now and then thinking of all your problems and keeping it to yourself. TELL ME! You know I will hear you out every time!

Don't say things to bring you down ah. To be honest. My best moments in my life was with you. I'm not joking. Being with you was the best thing that ever happen to me. I know that you loved me with all your heart and you do care alot. I really don't mind you calling me names and saying things just to bring me down. I really don't. I treasure what we had and hold them close to me. To be honest, I love you too much that I really don't care if you break my heart 43124321 times or me dropping by and see if you are doing fine. Ofcorse la heart pain if you never react to the things I do but it hurts deeper to see you sad and thinking about things. I don't mind not being the dude that will you will love but I want to be the one to catch you when you fall. Do cheer up and I'll see you soon!

Anyways,

Hip-hop jelly for u? (:

With lots of love,

Haris

(I've locked this blog. So its just between your window screen and mine.